You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize