The brown eye won't let me do that either.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
