Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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