But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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