i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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