Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

Fav 89 14467 1618
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(201): View more from New Jersey

why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

Fav 43 12107 1196
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(706): View more from Georgia

lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

Fav 58 6626 1126
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.

Fav 22 5403 1536
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(631): View more from New York

I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

Fav 9 2945 1204
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(641): View more from Iowa

I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

Fav 9 973 4110
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(813): View more from Florida

I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship

Fav 6 1123 756
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(630): View more from Illinois

I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.

Fav 2 495 228
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.

Fav 0 13 49
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