help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
