how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize