Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
