i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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