Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
