her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
