Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
