You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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