I cannot find my penis.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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