In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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