Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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