Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
