i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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