8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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