I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
