if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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