I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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