She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
