Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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