I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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