all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
