There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
