hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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