also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
