I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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