There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
