Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
