Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
