do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
