i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dignity is for republicans.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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