some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
