Its about making memories worth repressing
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
