Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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