i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
