1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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