im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
