after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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