Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
