Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
