What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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