what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
