so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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