her vagine was all disorganized.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
