this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
