The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am one with the molecules
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
