U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
