as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
