what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
