U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
