Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
