I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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