So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
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Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
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I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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