I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
