Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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