I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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