maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
